Tag Archives: whispers

Send every Angel You Know

I did not sleep this night
and now the sun is already rising high;
I will not sleep this day,
but empty my mind for you
and open my heart,
for we missed the moment
of true conversation
far too often –
I have been too busy
showing the world
what a terrible fool I can be
when I ignore your whispers.

There’s this little child in me you see,
having tantrums –
She’s wild with fear and pain
and the raging torrents of her tears
blind her;
She screams so loud – and fights
like a wild animal, cornered,
I do anything to silence her
and say “G-d look away for a moment”
(how could I say such things?)
and then how far I fall.

Only yesterday it seemed
I could touch your outstretched hand
with my trembling fingers –
Now I can hardly lift my head
I am so ashamed

Blossom is falling from the trees
and the birds have been singing to you
with the whole of their being
since dawn;
They never even had the smallest doubt –
that’s how innocent they are.

Please, help me to listen
more closely, more deeply,
I don’t want to be apart from you
for even one more moment;
There’s no where to go but inside you
Outside, you know, I’m lost.

This life is no place for
someone like me,
Your love alone keeps me alive;

If I can not live for you
Then I am already dying!
If I take even one step
without you in mind
all the light fades
and this body grows tired and weak

My spirit is kept alight
by your presence
burning in the heart;
I cannot be without your grace;
when I forget you, even for one breath,
I become a ghost, dim, crumbling into dust –

I’ve had enough, I will abandon myself here!
I’ve tortured myself for far too long
searching for ways to surrender –
I bow down completely –
You’ve seen all my mistakes!

Take every part of me,
Let me not move
unless it is with you in sight;
There isn’t time to fool about like this –
every breath I take away from your presence
is an agony in the heart

You gave me the greatest blessing
when you looked at me
for that  infinity of a fleeting glance
The smallest glimpse
was enough;
Now I spend every moment
longing
to see you again.

I don’t ask for anything,
but if I be lacking
in some quality needed to reach you,
then give me that.
This is my only prayer;
That I may honour you, fully,
for as long as it takes
for every Soul to come home.

Oh Sweet, sweet untouchable Beloved,
I give myself to you completely –
If should take even one step
which would make you weep,
send every angel you know
to stop me.

~

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Unwrapped

The moon took me tonight,
took me with her luminous beauty
hanging there, so secret, so full
and wrapped me, a million times around.

I wish she had wrapped me
a million times more,
so that I might have drawn
closer, enough to stay;

Because the light she reflects
was always soft and true,
and she never whispers anything
that is not love.

A friend put his hand on my heart
then took it away completely,
so now when the wind blows
it blows right through me.

Everything I thought was me
hurts too much to keep,
I walk like a person
but feel all air and space.

I hoped he could touch my mind
so I would lose that too,
because all I ever ask for
is to be fully empty.

The moon has gone behind clouds
and the wind is not blowing.
I am becoming unwrapped.
I sit like a person, an old, tired person.

~

 

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Spirit is Born

I shall stay awake all night
sitting within my own stillness.
I shall listen for the echo of the drum beat
then journey to its source.
I shall return to that place from which the heart whispers;
Where lovers reveal moonlight secrets:
where spirit is born.

At dawn I will go out
into the unbroken day.
I shall walk lightly with clear eyes and an open heart
so that I will be present to receive your blessings
with the awareness that they deserve.
I shall bathe in the music of new beginnings
and bear witness to the mysteries you have revealed.

When the world stirs I will turn to face you and say “YES!
and YES!” because I am not afraid to give myself completely
whilst honouring my own sweet truth;
So that each step is a humble offering
to adorn your dance.
I shall empty my mind to receive what we had always known
then bow down to honour your beauty.

I will remember yesterday’s sorrows
only for the wisdom which they taught.
And what was not given with love I shall set aside:-
Liberating our ancient hurts
to be returned to that place from which the heart whispers;
Where lovers create sun-kissed futures
and spirit is born

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Becoming a Mirror

How does one become a mirror
that reflects with clarity
your true nature?

Whilst I was sleeping
you whispered words of love,
of love beyond my knowledge.

Perhaps I will remember you
as a dream that stirs in my heart at times
or as the wind in my hair.

I didn’t understand
because at that moment
I was not ready.

Yet your words find a place always,
in my deep still place
they are nourished.

Your voice is in the rain against skin,
a bird singing somewhere far away,
the space between my thoughts.

Some day I shall awake
and your whisperings will unfold,
just as love blossoms into a beautiful tree.

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The Ancient Fool

you know those tingling, moving moments?

when a stubborn old fool comes up against a wall… and breaks all the rules to get past

…follows his feelings into madness

and is led…

to something marvellous?

to something that resonates deeply with his own truth.  that resonates even before he has touched it?

it is always so lovely to discover… another.

…another light by which to navigate in the lonely unknown…

to see that if one is only ever dreaming, then there are others who dream too.

and he thanks that other… he must love that other… simply for being.

and in the exchange, a brilliant spark flies and somewhere, something expands.

… the time has come for our fool to be magically transformed… he feels wonderful and dances with lightness and happiness!

but soon he encounters a falling, a fading… he is hovering at the very beginning of an invisible path and is trying to dance in the shadows… trying to trust his senses in the dark….

dizzily spiralling in a place where it is impossible to ‘know’ because he knows he can no longer be limited by his knowing

he has become a warrior and a warrior must be scared. relentlessly encountering that line of fear …and then so many other lines.  fine lines, so easily crossed, yet like canyons for a man who cannot see. oh so many places, seemingly terrible places, to fall!

and then the darkness becomes darker than the blackest night but he must continue for he has discovered that he cannot live with a heart that does not sing. he has already passed though that comfortable place of sleeping. so  he accepts the quest for there is no other reason to be.

he feels mysteriously honoured yet unspeakably afraid.

and in the waking of the long dark  night, when his tired mind dissolves, takes flight… something stirs from deep within and whispers hidden secrets to him.

what adventures!

(dangerously entrancing quests for the foolish warrior who has hangs on nothing but a trembling intent)

his soul would  be strong and powerful…if only it could be free…  but our warrior is deluded! he is endlessly full of doubts and mistakes, he imagines he is riddled with cracks and weakened by unmovable blocks… he thinks he feels pain. he fears death!

he has forgotten his true nature so, captured by his own mistrust, he holds back in confusion. he holds and holds until something gives way …until, finally he lets go. now spiralling….

down,

down,

down.

and then there is stillness. and in this space our warrior believes himself to be so fragmented and lost that he must cry out to the universe and ask;

 “who am i? why am i here?”

and the timeless constant all that is, the deepest purest nothing, takes him. it holds him, it cradles him and speaks with ancient silence to the silence of his soul.

you are perfect! you are whole! you are complete!”

and our warrior bows down and weeps with joy as he answers for himself:

“all the time i am so humbly, gloriously, delighted to be… so blessed to be…here. to have been given theses marvellous opportunities of un-learning and learning to see.

my only desire is to become! …to be, love.

to love…. relentlessly.

to cast love outward to the stars

now i am learning for the first time… to ask. to ask because i wish to be open to giving.

 to ask in order that i may radiate back magnified over and over eternally endlessly over

… that more and more and ever more  may always be …touched by  ripples, not i but we!

i am a stumbling fool and will always be a fool… foolishly knowing nothing…

but i hope somehow to become at least an honest fool with an open heart.

..to learn to welcome, to thank the pain that takes one beyond, that reveals the beautiful mysterious, that shatters the mind and fills the centres of light…. to learn to embrace my truth and honour it. to allow others to do the same.

and to do this not to pleasure my ego, but because i have flown and let go, because i have returned.  returned to that place of emptiness that  can encompass all…

to live…  to be… to play… to see… to laugh… to love!

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