Tag Archives: unknown

Already That

Sometimes,
I wanted to run away,
to run so far from knowing,
leave all practice behind;
Retreat to that place
within my own being,
Where, it was always clear,
that nothing could exist but

Silence,
All-pervading,
Love.

Where there could be no conflict.

But it seemed as though
having already taken one step
too far into the beyond,
that the world in my own silent company
could offer no retreat –
For I had come to mistrust my own seeing,
blindly grasping at these endless illusions.

I was never quite sure
if I was awake, or dreaming.

It certainly appeared as though
I could never quite see
and that all that arose
was perceived through
relentless distortions.

All that changed was
the way of dreaming;
Reality seemed
out of reach.

And so I had to continue
full of doubt and fears,
giving my life to a path
which I could not trust;
Because without that path
all living was empty,
a pantomime for the senses
in which I had long since lost
interest or desire.

No other way had been offered
to follow deeper inwards and go beyond,
so I took it, blindly
stumbling all around the edges
across a thousand imaginations.

Every part that you might call me
caused nothing but trouble and pain.
Yet really, I hadn’t even begun.

I prayed to a higher seeing
a deeper loving, an essence,
the indivisible one,
(that I prayed existed)
Not to let me go astray;
Not to let me forget the heart.

I begged life, weeping daily
(with a heart on fire
that desired nothing
but to be returned,
to be fully empty)
to remove me completely;
leaving only

That which
Was
Already That.

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This Stillness

Into existence
Out of existence
We spiral
We are spinning

There are a million things
left unseen
No – more
Untold millions

We do not see
What holds us
When we hold no more

Breathing in
Life flows
Light dance

Breath out
Whispering
Falling

There are a million things
we can not know
No – more
untold millions

In the sun they say
there is a secret
This stillness

Hold you
Warm you
Love you.

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Every Face

Standing alone on an empty road:
shall I turn left or right,
would it really make a difference?
No reason to go here or there!

Inside the houses, people
are busy living –
full with being somebody;

They all have a story to tell
and they ask me:

“Who are you?
What do you do?
Where did you come from?
What do you want?

Then say:

“If you don’t be someone,
you won’t go anywhere!
You must do something useful with your life!
You must use your precious time wisely!”

“Be happy!
Don’t cry!
Where’s your logic?
Don’t be a fool!
Pull your self together!
Spread your wings!
Socialise!
What good have you done today?”

“Show me your knowledge
and I’ll show you mine,
What have you learned?
How intelligent are you?”

There are a thousand different ways
to do everything all wrong!
Yet when the sun comes at dawn
he kisses every face turned upwards.

I don’t need to have a name
to hear the blackbird singing.

There are enough people being busy
setting the world to rights
and doing grand or beautiful things.

Speak of any science, any art,
some shall master them perfectly.

Let those with knowledge debate
the history and future of society,
and those with skilful means
make changes where they will.

Everything is understood somewhere.

I shall lay my load down here
beneath a star filled sky:

Cry like a baby
(when I want to)
or laugh with joy

For simply no reason at all.

Life does not need me to be intelligent
to understand what has been written
in books and the heart of man.

Why should I search for treasure
to hold in two empty hands?

The infinite continues unfolding
even when I do nothing at all!

Perhaps I should make an effort
to become a better ‘person’,
but i think i’ll just stay here
and watch the moon…

Some one has to love her light
spilling out so shamelessly
over all that is seen

She is painting everything silver

whilst
we
sleep.

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Becoming Unknown

You broke me open a thousand times
and each time healed me
until the pain of becoming tender
was sweet as nectar.

You sent your breath like a hot desert wind
into my deepest unknown
and I entered into your cave.

You walked with me in my sleeping
and in my waking laughed at my surprise.

I am becoming softer
I am becoming stronger.

I am opening like a gentle river
Ancient flowing – Spirit moving
I breathe in – I breathe out
Ever drawing closer.

The journey continues
I a child among mysteries
Becoming unknown.

Heart beating to the rhythm of every cell
I am a living being.

You can move through me
I yield like clouds
but in my heart is a lion’s roar.

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Becoming a Mirror

How does one become a mirror
that reflects with clarity
your true nature?

Whilst I was sleeping
you whispered words of love,
of love beyond my knowledge.

Perhaps I will remember you
as a dream that stirs in my heart at times
or as the wind in my hair.

I didn’t understand
because at that moment
I was not ready.

Yet your words find a place always,
in my deep still place
they are nourished.

Your voice is in the rain against skin,
a bird singing somewhere far away,
the space between my thoughts.

Some day I shall awake
and your whisperings will unfold,
just as love blossoms into a beautiful tree.

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The Ancient Fool

you know those tingling, moving moments?

when a stubborn old fool comes up against a wall… and breaks all the rules to get past

…follows his feelings into madness

and is led…

to something marvellous?

to something that resonates deeply with his own truth.  that resonates even before he has touched it?

it is always so lovely to discover… another.

…another light by which to navigate in the lonely unknown…

to see that if one is only ever dreaming, then there are others who dream too.

and he thanks that other… he must love that other… simply for being.

and in the exchange, a brilliant spark flies and somewhere, something expands.

… the time has come for our fool to be magically transformed… he feels wonderful and dances with lightness and happiness!

but soon he encounters a falling, a fading… he is hovering at the very beginning of an invisible path and is trying to dance in the shadows… trying to trust his senses in the dark….

dizzily spiralling in a place where it is impossible to ‘know’ because he knows he can no longer be limited by his knowing

he has become a warrior and a warrior must be scared. relentlessly encountering that line of fear …and then so many other lines.  fine lines, so easily crossed, yet like canyons for a man who cannot see. oh so many places, seemingly terrible places, to fall!

and then the darkness becomes darker than the blackest night but he must continue for he has discovered that he cannot live with a heart that does not sing. he has already passed though that comfortable place of sleeping. so  he accepts the quest for there is no other reason to be.

he feels mysteriously honoured yet unspeakably afraid.

and in the waking of the long dark  night, when his tired mind dissolves, takes flight… something stirs from deep within and whispers hidden secrets to him.

what adventures!

(dangerously entrancing quests for the foolish warrior who has hangs on nothing but a trembling intent)

his soul would  be strong and powerful…if only it could be free…  but our warrior is deluded! he is endlessly full of doubts and mistakes, he imagines he is riddled with cracks and weakened by unmovable blocks… he thinks he feels pain. he fears death!

he has forgotten his true nature so, captured by his own mistrust, he holds back in confusion. he holds and holds until something gives way …until, finally he lets go. now spiralling….

down,

down,

down.

and then there is stillness. and in this space our warrior believes himself to be so fragmented and lost that he must cry out to the universe and ask;

 “who am i? why am i here?”

and the timeless constant all that is, the deepest purest nothing, takes him. it holds him, it cradles him and speaks with ancient silence to the silence of his soul.

you are perfect! you are whole! you are complete!”

and our warrior bows down and weeps with joy as he answers for himself:

“all the time i am so humbly, gloriously, delighted to be… so blessed to be…here. to have been given theses marvellous opportunities of un-learning and learning to see.

my only desire is to become! …to be, love.

to love…. relentlessly.

to cast love outward to the stars

now i am learning for the first time… to ask. to ask because i wish to be open to giving.

 to ask in order that i may radiate back magnified over and over eternally endlessly over

… that more and more and ever more  may always be …touched by  ripples, not i but we!

i am a stumbling fool and will always be a fool… foolishly knowing nothing…

but i hope somehow to become at least an honest fool with an open heart.

..to learn to welcome, to thank the pain that takes one beyond, that reveals the beautiful mysterious, that shatters the mind and fills the centres of light…. to learn to embrace my truth and honour it. to allow others to do the same.

and to do this not to pleasure my ego, but because i have flown and let go, because i have returned.  returned to that place of emptiness that  can encompass all…

to live…  to be… to play… to see… to laugh… to love!

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If I Were a Bird

If I were a bird,
I would fly –
it would be that easy!

No need to do anything else
but soar and glide freely
The wind would be my guide
I would dance on invisible currents,
wings spread out wide
and what then?
How wise i would be,
knowing nothing!

Today, in the rain,
while we huddled indoors
and time passed by,
a bird flew up! Up!
Straight into the grey white cloud
and then it was gone
into the unknown beyond
where the sun was still shining.

If i were a bird,
I would fly –
it would be that easy!

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