Tag Archives: silence

Stormy Seas

“The snake inside a bamboo cane…
can only go up or down.”

He was smiling at me

“Which way will you go?”

I know not of what you speak
but I will follow you into the Mystery
With the beating of my heart
By the light of our eyes
Through your touch
Show me the way up.
Lead me to G-d

Oh Friend, who leads who?
Here is my faith
Let us journey together.

Maybe I didn’t go anywhere.
Just wrapped around myself.
Constricted.

Sometimes my anger is a burning light.

A terrible, powerful force.
The oceans which feed it
are immense.

My rage gives way to Longing
Unseparated, we are free.

I never found a way to perfectly express
with the whole of my being
that one great Beauty I see everywhere

I am always falling.

And falling, praying.

Don’t forget me, don’t stop calling.

Nobody wants to be other than Love.
To be less than their purest self.
To be this not that.
Unfullfilled.

Sometimes my grief is unconsolable.

This is a poem for Him.
_________________

A warrior turns to face his anger
He says “Come, come and dance”
Dance until we weep
Then grow your softness

He is not afraid
To be invincible
He moves like water.

There is space for everything inside him.
So he laughs and plays.

You have made great effort to be Master of your ship
I bow to your intention
Here, take the lamp which burns inside my heart
It can be lonely at sea.

Raise the humble flag of a warriors love
It can not be torn.
Cutting through illusion
Storms make way for freedom
Ride your winds
Sail free, untethered
to light a Way

Blessings on your course

Such skill takes time and practice
I am adrift

Full of cracks
The cracks of hesitation, self doubt and indecision
My bamboo is not strong enough.

My snake is all twisted up in knots.
Dearanged by lack of freedom

The depth and intensity of my rage
The raw force, unexpressed
If I could harness it, direct it with care,
Would equal yours. I know.

It is a force for healing.

You showed me where there is no place for fear
No place to hide
Stand up now and be seen
Before the face of death
“All of this is Love”

I had to break to fit that kind of love inside me.

If it were not for this exterior life,
and I dived down into the depths of me
and you into the depths of you

The demons and deities I could produce
From my own ancient energies
Would dance with yours well.
We could make a fine show together.

Of fire and wrath
and Love
of wisdom that cuts like a blazing knife

There are no prisoners here.

Then sit down laughing
side by side
Drink from the tea kettle
as old Friends.

Knowing we are nothing
Humility and compassion
We suffered long to learn
So now,
Light like air

With the taste of tears still on our lips
We know what sweetness is

Sweetness is owning our own Hell
and making Heavens garden there
where fruit and flowers grow,
where children sing

Sweetness is
offering your rage
on bended knees
Saying I Love you

When the clouds of this and that
Drift away
Birds on the wind
Flow like water

Everything returns to silence.

Let us make love one day
Unbound
Melt together in pools of warmth
Beneath the stars
of a million births and deaths

When I am finally naked
of all that is not
When you can move through me
Freely
Let my offer myself to you

Raise me up, raise you up.

Being not of this world
yet in it
I recognised a companion

Oh fool I
Showed myself to be less than worthy
That we do not walk together
That I stand not by your side.

Dive into your Ocean, Friend
Find me there,
meet me there,
Love me there.

Lose me here
in the Light of your loving.

I am deep enough to hold you.

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Meet Life Here

The world has become a dream
the layers blurred and mingled.
When I don’t feel G-d
in every heart beat,
I am lost in the mist –
Belonging nowhere

I walk through this city
in a body made of space;
I can’t find any place
that I am – or am not.

The senses flow unrecognised,
erased of meaning;
My story floats unreachable,
beyond the stillness.
I think I have forgotten
how to be a person.

I move amongst people a stranger,
There’s a place from where the Soul comes –
to which we all return
I know us each so intimately,
so inseparably there – I have become
invisible.

Heart whispers:

“Look at the moon,
breathe in unseen
sounds of light – moving,
watch the wind,
feel rain on skin –

Let love find you.

There is a silence
in all things – meet life
here.

Turn to the world empty handed;
Listen to the beauty
everywhere – waiting
to be spoken.

Fill the deepest holding
of your heart – now
breathe out
all the blessings.”

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Each Companion

The night is so kind,
so full, so alive –
I will sit immersed in blessings
until dawn – reflecting;

There are days when
it is so clear –
the grace in others,
the soul spark in all:
the unclothed tenderness
makes this heart ache
with loving –

And the tears that come
seem to be made of light
falling in silent streams
from the beautiful overflowing

I wish I could keep a drop
or two, to remember
the gratitude which says “Yes”
to life’s unfolding and,
recognising each companion, asks
“How – oh how
may I serve you more sweetly?”

~

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Hide and Seek

You’ve fallen in Love with falling
in Love with me
again – Don’t do that!

Stay here,
where I can feel you,
with me – Always.

The sweetness of remembering
the slightest reflection
of my Embrace
is Nothing when compared to
the falling outside
of your Self in the infinite
Union

Fall in Love, if falling
in Love pleases you –
but know you can not Know me
Intimately until you give up spinning
so endlessly
in this game of hide and
Seek

There is a Space – you hold
the ancient Key
use it to come all the way home
Then throw it away!

Some Being will take it
to wear about their neck –
and fall in Love
Whilst we sing to them,
calling their Soul
in the great Silence we All
Belong to.

~

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Speak of Your Love

When I don’t feel you near me,
When you are not on fire
in the silence of my heart,

I feel
so lost.

I can’t even say one word
if it is not to speak of your Love.

(Or the longing for that)

I am here!
Please, open me,
Hold me, breathe me –
Don’t let go.

There is nowhere to be
without you.

But wait!

How many times must I forget?
Now I remember
how to announce my presence:

Stop right here
in the space of being;
Be perfectly still.

Listen from the centre:

Ah! I hear you
Everywhere.

You have been
so terribly patient

Everything is alive with your light.

~

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Send every Angel You Know

I did not sleep this night
and now the sun is already rising high;
I will not sleep this day,
but empty my mind for you
and open my heart,
for we missed the moment
of true conversation
far too often –
I have been too busy
showing the world
what a terrible fool I can be
when I ignore your whispers.

There’s this little child in me you see,
having tantrums –
She’s wild with fear and pain
and the raging torrents of her tears
blind her;
She screams so loud – and fights
like a wild animal, cornered,
I do anything to silence her
and say “G-d look away for a moment”
(how could I say such things?)
and then how far I fall.

Only yesterday it seemed
I could touch your outstretched hand
with my trembling fingers –
Now I can hardly lift my head
I am so ashamed

Blossom is falling from the trees
and the birds have been singing to you
with the whole of their being
since dawn;
They never even had the smallest doubt –
that’s how innocent they are.

Please, help me to listen
more closely, more deeply,
I don’t want to be apart from you
for even one more moment;
There’s no where to go but inside you
Outside, you know, I’m lost.

This life is no place for
someone like me,
Your love alone keeps me alive;

If I can not live for you
Then I am already dying!
If I take even one step
without you in mind
all the light fades
and this body grows tired and weak

My spirit is kept alight
by your presence
burning in the heart;
I cannot be without your grace;
when I forget you, even for one breath,
I become a ghost, dim, crumbling into dust –

I’ve had enough, I will abandon myself here!
I’ve tortured myself for far too long
searching for ways to surrender –
I bow down completely –
You’ve seen all my mistakes!

Take every part of me,
Let me not move
unless it is with you in sight;
There isn’t time to fool about like this –
every breath I take away from your presence
is an agony in the heart

You gave me the greatest blessing
when you looked at me
for that  infinity of a fleeting glance
The smallest glimpse
was enough;
Now I spend every moment
longing
to see you again.

I don’t ask for anything,
but if I be lacking
in some quality needed to reach you,
then give me that.
This is my only prayer;
That I may honour you, fully,
for as long as it takes
for every Soul to come home.

Oh Sweet, sweet untouchable Beloved,
I give myself to you completely –
If should take even one step
which would make you weep,
send every angel you know
to stop me.

~

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Already That

Sometimes,
I wanted to run away,
to run so far from knowing,
leave all practice behind;
Retreat to that place
within my own being,
Where, it was always clear,
that nothing could exist but

Silence,
All-pervading,
Love.

Where there could be no conflict.

But it seemed as though
having already taken one step
too far into the beyond,
that the world in my own silent company
could offer no retreat –
For I had come to mistrust my own seeing,
blindly grasping at these endless illusions.

I was never quite sure
if I was awake, or dreaming.

It certainly appeared as though
I could never quite see
and that all that arose
was perceived through
relentless distortions.

All that changed was
the way of dreaming;
Reality seemed
out of reach.

And so I had to continue
full of doubt and fears,
giving my life to a path
which I could not trust;
Because without that path
all living was empty,
a pantomime for the senses
in which I had long since lost
interest or desire.

No other way had been offered
to follow deeper inwards and go beyond,
so I took it, blindly
stumbling all around the edges
across a thousand imaginations.

Every part that you might call me
caused nothing but trouble and pain.
Yet really, I hadn’t even begun.

I prayed to a higher seeing
a deeper loving, an essence,
the indivisible one,
(that I prayed existed)
Not to let me go astray;
Not to let me forget the heart.

I begged life, weeping daily
(with a heart on fire
that desired nothing
but to be returned,
to be fully empty)
to remove me completely;
leaving only

That which
Was
Already That.

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A Thousand Dreams

You broke me open so quietly
there were times I begged for mercy;
asked you to stop this loving.

Your love was a raging fire.
It burnt through me
carving out channels
in places so deep
I could not know they existed.

You were a cougar – a mountain lion,
I believed you would kill me with one pounce.

You pursued me through a thousand dreams,
stalking my illusions with relentless precision
until my mind was shattered
my body raw and finally
I paused. To look
into your eyes.

I became so still that time
stopped. I became.
Stillness.

Then we were equal you and I:
Death staring at death;
Life staring at life.

There was no fear
only total acceptance.
Silence dissolved through us
with perfect resonance.

There was no longer desire
but an ocean of emptiness
fulfilled beyond completion.
We merged with reverence

I returned in you
tender – a witness to Love.

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