Tag Archives: heart

Send every Angel You Know

I did not sleep this night
and now the sun is already rising high;
I will not sleep this day,
but empty my mind for you
and open my heart,
for we missed the moment
of true conversation
far too often –
I have been too busy
showing the world
what a terrible fool I can be
when I ignore your whispers.

There’s this little child in me you see,
having tantrums –
She’s wild with fear and pain
and the raging torrents of her tears
blind her;
She screams so loud – and fights
like a wild animal, cornered,
I do anything to silence her
and say “G-d look away for a moment”
(how could I say such things?)
and then how far I fall.

Only yesterday it seemed
I could touch your outstretched hand
with my trembling fingers –
Now I can hardly lift my head
I am so ashamed

Blossom is falling from the trees
and the birds have been singing to you
with the whole of their being
since dawn;
They never even had the smallest doubt –
that’s how innocent they are.

Please, help me to listen
more closely, more deeply,
I don’t want to be apart from you
for even one more moment;
There’s no where to go but inside you
Outside, you know, I’m lost.

This life is no place for
someone like me,
Your love alone keeps me alive;

If I can not live for you
Then I am already dying!
If I take even one step
without you in mind
all the light fades
and this body grows tired and weak

My spirit is kept alight
by your presence
burning in the heart;
I cannot be without your grace;
when I forget you, even for one breath,
I become a ghost, dim, crumbling into dust –

I’ve had enough, I will abandon myself here!
I’ve tortured myself for far too long
searching for ways to surrender –
I bow down completely –
You’ve seen all my mistakes!

Take every part of me,
Let me not move
unless it is with you in sight;
There isn’t time to fool about like this –
every breath I take away from your presence
is an agony in the heart

You gave me the greatest blessing
when you looked at me
for that  infinity of a fleeting glance
The smallest glimpse
was enough;
Now I spend every moment
longing
to see you again.

I don’t ask for anything,
but if I be lacking
in some quality needed to reach you,
then give me that.
This is my only prayer;
That I may honour you, fully,
for as long as it takes
for every Soul to come home.

Oh Sweet, sweet untouchable Beloved,
I give myself to you completely –
If should take even one step
which would make you weep,
send every angel you know
to stop me.

~

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The Good Song

I have found a place
Beyond time and Space,
Oh sweet surrender…
There I ride the wind
So far deeply in
And it is good!

Oooh ooh la la la la
la la la la la la x2

You can come with me
And we can be so free,
It will be good!
We can dance and sing
With the flowers and the trees,
It will be good!

Let’s go light-ly
I’ll meet you where you are,
Don’t be shy now
I’ve already seen your heart
And it is good!

Oooh oooh la la la la la
la la la la la la… x2

So come and play with me
in the rivers to the sea,
It will be good!
We can ride the wind
So far deep within,
Oh sweet surrender…

Oooh oooh la la la la la
la la la la la la… x2

…and it is good!

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Nearer

G-d said

“My dear,

I have looked into your heart and read everything that is written there.

I must tell you that all I have seen has made me long to hold you closely

So come a little nearer,

 Please”

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Not Knowing

If you are breaking open
and there is no ground or walls,
nor person to say “Yes I am that”,
If there is no knowing nor faith
and no desire;

If you have discovered
that everything you believe in,
all that you touch, dissolves;
If nothing can be confirmed,

What do you do?

I stay still, feeling,
listening, quietly;

If the pain grows deeper – let it,
If the fear comes stronger – let it,

If disturbance comes to destroy
this entire world – let it!

What could I do
but stay in my heart?
Stay here, where
something is burning.

And whilst I wait between
unknowable and unknown,

Perhaps the life
that is warm and moving
will carry my understanding
deeper, to a place where

All this breaking will only have been
the tearing down of walls:
the walls of my being.

So if it hurts and feels like it’s the end,
maybe it’s only the beginning of beyond;
Because the walls are not me
and all I ever asked for was to be free:
Free of all that is not true,
Free to merge with infinity,
to meet G-d – Fully.

(It was a name we were given
for that which has no name.)

All that ever remains is this longing.

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Unwrapped

The moon took me tonight,
took me with her luminous beauty
hanging there, so secret, so full
and wrapped me, a million times around.

I wish she had wrapped me
a million times more,
so that I might have drawn
closer, enough to stay;

Because the light she reflects
was always soft and true,
and she never whispers anything
that is not love.

A friend put his hand on my heart
then took it away completely,
so now when the wind blows
it blows right through me.

Everything I thought was me
hurts too much to keep,
I walk like a person
but feel all air and space.

I hoped he could touch my mind
so I would lose that too,
because all I ever ask for
is to be fully empty.

The moon has gone behind clouds
and the wind is not blowing.
I am becoming unwrapped.
I sit like a person, an old, tired person.

~

 

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Burning

There is a fire that burns in the heart

It never leaves.

Can you feel it?

Everything is turning into light
Everything is turning into love.

With every breath the fire glows brighter

It reaches out to envelop the whole of existence

Whatever we gather
One day we must let go

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I Call This Love

True love can not be whispered
with even the most pleasing of words,
For the love which can be whispered
has been given name and shape ,a beginning, an end
and the love which I have known to be true
is formless.

The truth which can be spoken of
is not the real truth,
For that which is spoken is ever changing like the wind
and the ones who speak shift endlessly like desert sand;
the truth which I could promise to tell you so sweetly
may taste bitter on your own soft lips.

One may perform a thousand kind gestures
from the deepest core of the purest heart,
but even this can not be called love;
For love can not be done or undone, nor given nor received:
Love is the unbound space from which all arises
and in which all movement occurs.

If I could give love a name
I would call it truth
and I would call truth love;
For what I have discovered
is that there is no truth which could not be witnessed as love,
neither a love which could be dismissed as untrue.

You tell me that I do not know about love
and neither could I know of such things;
But just as surely as nothing can truly be shared,
the stardust singing in me is the same that dances in you;
And when all that was ever thought has been forgotten,
a certain harmony will be revealed.

There is a place from which galaxies are born,
empty of all that could be known,
We will meet there – before this so clumsily touched
and I will know you by your light;

By the absence of that which is not.

I call this love,
all being united – in naked, resplendent, perfection.

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Spiral Dance

The infinite spiral dance of thought
shouts and whispers, if we follow
draws us outward;
Paints a web of untold dreams
perpetuated by relentless desire,
Blinded by insatiable longing.

Transcend the attachment to outward attention,
dissolve into silence, remain unseen;
Turn back to the stillness from which you arise.
Never outside of this, but here
in the breath; In the warm beating heart.

Bathe in all-pervading consciousness,
that infinite hum of light;
The pulse of awareness

Oh sweet, Sweet untouched
Beloved,
Residing beyond intimacy,
Indivisible from time or space;

Sacred one – It is time to come Home.

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Becoming Unknown

You broke me open a thousand times
and each time healed me
until the pain of becoming tender
was sweet as nectar.

You sent your breath like a hot desert wind
into my deepest unknown
and I entered into your cave.

You walked with me in my sleeping
and in my waking laughed at my surprise.

I am becoming softer
I am becoming stronger.

I am opening like a gentle river
Ancient flowing – Spirit moving
I breathe in – I breathe out
Ever drawing closer.

The journey continues
I a child among mysteries
Becoming unknown.

Heart beating to the rhythm of every cell
I am a living being.

You can move through me
I yield like clouds
but in my heart is a lion’s roar.

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The Warrior

I ask the warrior, for what does he fight?
He bows down low before me
then draws near with searching eyes:

“I stand in a place beyond imagination
where answers hold no truth.”

So I ask what calls him, to have travelled so far?
He looks in each direction
then lifts up his arms:

“I am nowhere that can be measured
the journey is not of distance but of light”

So I ask again, “Then tell me, for whom do you fight?”
He steps forward to touch me and shines in the night:

“I fight the known for the unknown to be free,
I fight fear so that love can wholly be.
I fight illusions for the sleeping ones to see
I fight ignorance so that I can become we.

This battle is for consciousness,
for all who breathe and live.
My soul must travel onwards
for my heart is moved to give.”

His words make me ache with remembering,
he has reached the deep depths of my past.
His eyes force my tears to flow strongly
and I bow down to join him at last.

~

© October 2008

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The Ancient Fool

you know those tingling, moving moments?

when a stubborn old fool comes up against a wall… and breaks all the rules to get past

…follows his feelings into madness

and is led…

to something marvellous?

to something that resonates deeply with his own truth.  that resonates even before he has touched it?

it is always so lovely to discover… another.

…another light by which to navigate in the lonely unknown…

to see that if one is only ever dreaming, then there are others who dream too.

and he thanks that other… he must love that other… simply for being.

and in the exchange, a brilliant spark flies and somewhere, something expands.

… the time has come for our fool to be magically transformed… he feels wonderful and dances with lightness and happiness!

but soon he encounters a falling, a fading… he is hovering at the very beginning of an invisible path and is trying to dance in the shadows… trying to trust his senses in the dark….

dizzily spiralling in a place where it is impossible to ‘know’ because he knows he can no longer be limited by his knowing

he has become a warrior and a warrior must be scared. relentlessly encountering that line of fear …and then so many other lines.  fine lines, so easily crossed, yet like canyons for a man who cannot see. oh so many places, seemingly terrible places, to fall!

and then the darkness becomes darker than the blackest night but he must continue for he has discovered that he cannot live with a heart that does not sing. he has already passed though that comfortable place of sleeping. so  he accepts the quest for there is no other reason to be.

he feels mysteriously honoured yet unspeakably afraid.

and in the waking of the long dark  night, when his tired mind dissolves, takes flight… something stirs from deep within and whispers hidden secrets to him.

what adventures!

(dangerously entrancing quests for the foolish warrior who has hangs on nothing but a trembling intent)

his soul would  be strong and powerful…if only it could be free…  but our warrior is deluded! he is endlessly full of doubts and mistakes, he imagines he is riddled with cracks and weakened by unmovable blocks… he thinks he feels pain. he fears death!

he has forgotten his true nature so, captured by his own mistrust, he holds back in confusion. he holds and holds until something gives way …until, finally he lets go. now spiralling….

down,

down,

down.

and then there is stillness. and in this space our warrior believes himself to be so fragmented and lost that he must cry out to the universe and ask;

 “who am i? why am i here?”

and the timeless constant all that is, the deepest purest nothing, takes him. it holds him, it cradles him and speaks with ancient silence to the silence of his soul.

you are perfect! you are whole! you are complete!”

and our warrior bows down and weeps with joy as he answers for himself:

“all the time i am so humbly, gloriously, delighted to be… so blessed to be…here. to have been given theses marvellous opportunities of un-learning and learning to see.

my only desire is to become! …to be, love.

to love…. relentlessly.

to cast love outward to the stars

now i am learning for the first time… to ask. to ask because i wish to be open to giving.

 to ask in order that i may radiate back magnified over and over eternally endlessly over

… that more and more and ever more  may always be …touched by  ripples, not i but we!

i am a stumbling fool and will always be a fool… foolishly knowing nothing…

but i hope somehow to become at least an honest fool with an open heart.

..to learn to welcome, to thank the pain that takes one beyond, that reveals the beautiful mysterious, that shatters the mind and fills the centres of light…. to learn to embrace my truth and honour it. to allow others to do the same.

and to do this not to pleasure my ego, but because i have flown and let go, because i have returned.  returned to that place of emptiness that  can encompass all…

to live…  to be… to play… to see… to laugh… to love!

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Seekers of Light

We long to send our spirits up – To soar above the sky
Yet our tiny hearts will tremble  – All the faster when we try

We would be steadfast warriors  – With intentions made of gold
Yet our human ways will stumble –  On the same mistakes of old
Invisible threads connect us  – In ways we don’t perceive
Yet we imagine we are separate  – And alone the ‘I’ must grieve

In darkness we find lightness  – As healing grows through pain
Then we see in one another –  The beauty and the shame
We carry deep within us  – The source of all that is
Yet we struggle in confusion  – Imperfect incomplete

Intelligence misleads us  – It feeds the ego mind
In the search for truth and wisdom  – We can’t know the things we find
Our questions lead us higher  – Then throw us to the ground
It isn’t ‘till the asker fades –  That nothing can be found

In the stillness of the night time  – By the language of the wild
We pass through the fear that bound us –  To reclaim the dreaming child
In dancing and in music  – And In the simple joy to be
In the quiet understanding –  That we share we can be free

We breathe light toward the centre –  As we ride upon the wave
To cry and laugh as love transforms us  – Humble gentle brave

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