Tag Archives: being

Presence of Light

We all have Wounds
and we try to conceal them from Light;
We bandage them tightly
and say “Don’t touch me there!
Don’t even look –
It will hurt
too
much”

You can spend a whole life time
in fear
of being tender.
Don’t be afraid
of becoming undone.

The truth,
when perfectly revealed,
will release you fully
to heal
the deepest
source
of Longing.

What do you long for?

If you stop to listen
for even one moment,
You will feel
the Presence of Light
against every atom
of Being.

We can find a thousand reasons
to resist the Soul’s embrace

Secretly we know
that

Only this Love –
relentlessly seeking our softness;
flowing toward us
in wave after Luminous wave –
can dissolve all the Pain
we mistakenly held on to
in this long
lonely Dream.

We hide behind walls of grief
for we know
we will be lost
in the infinite of Loving
when we surrender
the need
to be separate.

It’s time to let go of our shadows;

The purest freedom comes
from allowing
Love

Don’t run away,
be opened by the sweetness;
abandon the self completely
to your burning Heart:

G-d
has been waiting there,
since the first spark of Life,
to immerse your whole Being
so tenderly
in Light

~

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Not Knowing

If you are breaking open
and there is no ground or walls,
nor person to say “Yes I am that”,
If there is no knowing nor faith
and no desire;

If you have discovered
that everything you believe in,
all that you touch, dissolves;
If nothing can be confirmed,

What do you do?

I stay still, feeling,
listening, quietly;

If the pain grows deeper – let it,
If the fear comes stronger – let it,

If disturbance comes to destroy
this entire world – let it!

What could I do
but stay in my heart?
Stay here, where
something is burning.

And whilst I wait between
unknowable and unknown,

Perhaps the life
that is warm and moving
will carry my understanding
deeper, to a place where

All this breaking will only have been
the tearing down of walls:
the walls of my being.

So if it hurts and feels like it’s the end,
maybe it’s only the beginning of beyond;
Because the walls are not me
and all I ever asked for was to be free:
Free of all that is not true,
Free to merge with infinity,
to meet G-d – Fully.

(It was a name we were given
for that which has no name.)

All that ever remains is this longing.

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Already That

Sometimes,
I wanted to run away,
to run so far from knowing,
leave all practice behind;
Retreat to that place
within my own being,
Where, it was always clear,
that nothing could exist but

Silence,
All-pervading,
Love.

Where there could be no conflict.

But it seemed as though
having already taken one step
too far into the beyond,
that the world in my own silent company
could offer no retreat –
For I had come to mistrust my own seeing,
blindly grasping at these endless illusions.

I was never quite sure
if I was awake, or dreaming.

It certainly appeared as though
I could never quite see
and that all that arose
was perceived through
relentless distortions.

All that changed was
the way of dreaming;
Reality seemed
out of reach.

And so I had to continue
full of doubt and fears,
giving my life to a path
which I could not trust;
Because without that path
all living was empty,
a pantomime for the senses
in which I had long since lost
interest or desire.

No other way had been offered
to follow deeper inwards and go beyond,
so I took it, blindly
stumbling all around the edges
across a thousand imaginations.

Every part that you might call me
caused nothing but trouble and pain.
Yet really, I hadn’t even begun.

I prayed to a higher seeing
a deeper loving, an essence,
the indivisible one,
(that I prayed existed)
Not to let me go astray;
Not to let me forget the heart.

I begged life, weeping daily
(with a heart on fire
that desired nothing
but to be returned,
to be fully empty)
to remove me completely;
leaving only

That which
Was
Already That.

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Every Face

Standing alone on an empty road:
shall I turn left or right,
would it really make a difference?
No reason to go here or there!

Inside the houses, people
are busy living –
full with being somebody;

They all have a story to tell
and they ask me:

“Who are you?
What do you do?
Where did you come from?
What do you want?

Then say:

“If you don’t be someone,
you won’t go anywhere!
You must do something useful with your life!
You must use your precious time wisely!”

“Be happy!
Don’t cry!
Where’s your logic?
Don’t be a fool!
Pull your self together!
Spread your wings!
Socialise!
What good have you done today?”

“Show me your knowledge
and I’ll show you mine,
What have you learned?
How intelligent are you?”

There are a thousand different ways
to do everything all wrong!
Yet when the sun comes at dawn
he kisses every face turned upwards.

I don’t need to have a name
to hear the blackbird singing.

There are enough people being busy
setting the world to rights
and doing grand or beautiful things.

Speak of any science, any art,
some shall master them perfectly.

Let those with knowledge debate
the history and future of society,
and those with skilful means
make changes where they will.

Everything is understood somewhere.

I shall lay my load down here
beneath a star filled sky:

Cry like a baby
(when I want to)
or laugh with joy

For simply no reason at all.

Life does not need me to be intelligent
to understand what has been written
in books and the heart of man.

Why should I search for treasure
to hold in two empty hands?

The infinite continues unfolding
even when I do nothing at all!

Perhaps I should make an effort
to become a better ‘person’,
but i think i’ll just stay here
and watch the moon…

Some one has to love her light
spilling out so shamelessly
over all that is seen

She is painting everything silver

whilst
we
sleep.

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The Ancient Fool

you know those tingling, moving moments?

when a stubborn old fool comes up against a wall… and breaks all the rules to get past

…follows his feelings into madness

and is led…

to something marvellous?

to something that resonates deeply with his own truth.  that resonates even before he has touched it?

it is always so lovely to discover… another.

…another light by which to navigate in the lonely unknown…

to see that if one is only ever dreaming, then there are others who dream too.

and he thanks that other… he must love that other… simply for being.

and in the exchange, a brilliant spark flies and somewhere, something expands.

… the time has come for our fool to be magically transformed… he feels wonderful and dances with lightness and happiness!

but soon he encounters a falling, a fading… he is hovering at the very beginning of an invisible path and is trying to dance in the shadows… trying to trust his senses in the dark….

dizzily spiralling in a place where it is impossible to ‘know’ because he knows he can no longer be limited by his knowing

he has become a warrior and a warrior must be scared. relentlessly encountering that line of fear …and then so many other lines.  fine lines, so easily crossed, yet like canyons for a man who cannot see. oh so many places, seemingly terrible places, to fall!

and then the darkness becomes darker than the blackest night but he must continue for he has discovered that he cannot live with a heart that does not sing. he has already passed though that comfortable place of sleeping. so  he accepts the quest for there is no other reason to be.

he feels mysteriously honoured yet unspeakably afraid.

and in the waking of the long dark  night, when his tired mind dissolves, takes flight… something stirs from deep within and whispers hidden secrets to him.

what adventures!

(dangerously entrancing quests for the foolish warrior who has hangs on nothing but a trembling intent)

his soul would  be strong and powerful…if only it could be free…  but our warrior is deluded! he is endlessly full of doubts and mistakes, he imagines he is riddled with cracks and weakened by unmovable blocks… he thinks he feels pain. he fears death!

he has forgotten his true nature so, captured by his own mistrust, he holds back in confusion. he holds and holds until something gives way …until, finally he lets go. now spiralling….

down,

down,

down.

and then there is stillness. and in this space our warrior believes himself to be so fragmented and lost that he must cry out to the universe and ask;

 “who am i? why am i here?”

and the timeless constant all that is, the deepest purest nothing, takes him. it holds him, it cradles him and speaks with ancient silence to the silence of his soul.

you are perfect! you are whole! you are complete!”

and our warrior bows down and weeps with joy as he answers for himself:

“all the time i am so humbly, gloriously, delighted to be… so blessed to be…here. to have been given theses marvellous opportunities of un-learning and learning to see.

my only desire is to become! …to be, love.

to love…. relentlessly.

to cast love outward to the stars

now i am learning for the first time… to ask. to ask because i wish to be open to giving.

 to ask in order that i may radiate back magnified over and over eternally endlessly over

… that more and more and ever more  may always be …touched by  ripples, not i but we!

i am a stumbling fool and will always be a fool… foolishly knowing nothing…

but i hope somehow to become at least an honest fool with an open heart.

..to learn to welcome, to thank the pain that takes one beyond, that reveals the beautiful mysterious, that shatters the mind and fills the centres of light…. to learn to embrace my truth and honour it. to allow others to do the same.

and to do this not to pleasure my ego, but because i have flown and let go, because i have returned.  returned to that place of emptiness that  can encompass all…

to live…  to be… to play… to see… to laugh… to love!

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