Tag Archives: already that

Already That

Sometimes,
I wanted to run away,
to run so far from knowing,
leave all practice behind;
Retreat to that place
within my own being,
Where, it was always clear,
that nothing could exist but

Silence,
All-pervading,
Love.

Where there could be no conflict.

But it seemed as though
having already taken one step
too far into the beyond,
that the world in my own silent company
could offer no retreat –
For I had come to mistrust my own seeing,
blindly grasping at these endless illusions.

I was never quite sure
if I was awake, or dreaming.

It certainly appeared as though
I could never quite see
and that all that arose
was perceived through
relentless distortions.

All that changed was
the way of dreaming;
Reality seemed
out of reach.

And so I had to continue
full of doubt and fears,
giving my life to a path
which I could not trust;
Because without that path
all living was empty,
a pantomime for the senses
in which I had long since lost
interest or desire.

No other way had been offered
to follow deeper inwards and go beyond,
so I took it, blindly
stumbling all around the edges
across a thousand imaginations.

Every part that you might call me
caused nothing but trouble and pain.
Yet really, I hadn’t even begun.

I prayed to a higher seeing
a deeper loving, an essence,
the indivisible one,
(that I prayed existed)
Not to let me go astray;
Not to let me forget the heart.

I begged life, weeping daily
(with a heart on fire
that desired nothing
but to be returned,
to be fully empty)
to remove me completely;
leaving only

That which
Was
Already That.

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