Monthly Archives: March 2008

Perhaps

perhaps it is in the pain of losing you

that i will come to know your love

perhaps it is in the pain of falling

that i will grow the wings to fly above

there is a beauty in the sadness

sweet wisdom in my tears

the longing in my heart stirs

in the darkest lonely fears

2008

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A Prayer

I pray that I will come to be free of my ego
And grasping mind
That I can move beyond self
To the freedom of heart centred loving

I pray that I will awake fully from this illusion
That I may embody the awareness we were meant to be
That I can reflect back to the consciousness of love
The light of your eternal beauty

I pray that I can connect to what is
That I can come to a place where hearts are whole
Where walls and shadows have no place
Where there is only space for celebration

Please guide me to walk along your path
I pray that my spirit may dance with you
A dance of creating truth and joy
A dance of grace being love and light

Please stop me from falling
Please heal my separation from
The natural way of being in love

I pray that in my being I may become a vessel
Through which love can flow relentlessly

I pray that I
As humble and imperfect
Can honour my soul calling
To serve love to serve light
To become clear
To enable healing

I pray that I
Although often forgetting
Can more often be remembering
Although often sleeping
Can more often be awakening

I pray that these words will create
Movement not thoughts
That the G-d in them will manifest
And become my reality

Please guide my spirit
To take flight
From the imagined problems
Of my little self

I pray that I
Can become We
And that We
as One will Be

That each precious and beautiful gift
That each moment of life
Can be embraced in its entirety
That we will unlearn and learn to see

And that our combined awareness
Will expand to mirror to reflect
The divine miracle
The endless eternal perfection
Of conscious loving

That we all may be in light.

~

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The Ancient Fool

you know those tingling, moving moments?

when a stubborn old fool comes up against a wall… and breaks all the rules to get past

…follows his feelings into madness

and is led…

to something marvellous?

to something that resonates deeply with his own truth.  that resonates even before he has touched it?

it is always so lovely to discover… another.

…another light by which to navigate in the lonely unknown…

to see that if one is only ever dreaming, then there are others who dream too.

and he thanks that other… he must love that other… simply for being.

and in the exchange, a brilliant spark flies and somewhere, something expands.

… the time has come for our fool to be magically transformed… he feels wonderful and dances with lightness and happiness!

but soon he encounters a falling, a fading… he is hovering at the very beginning of an invisible path and is trying to dance in the shadows… trying to trust his senses in the dark….

dizzily spiralling in a place where it is impossible to ‘know’ because he knows he can no longer be limited by his knowing

he has become a warrior and a warrior must be scared. relentlessly encountering that line of fear …and then so many other lines.  fine lines, so easily crossed, yet like canyons for a man who cannot see. oh so many places, seemingly terrible places, to fall!

and then the darkness becomes darker than the blackest night but he must continue for he has discovered that he cannot live with a heart that does not sing. he has already passed though that comfortable place of sleeping. so  he accepts the quest for there is no other reason to be.

he feels mysteriously honoured yet unspeakably afraid.

and in the waking of the long dark  night, when his tired mind dissolves, takes flight… something stirs from deep within and whispers hidden secrets to him.

what adventures!

(dangerously entrancing quests for the foolish warrior who has hangs on nothing but a trembling intent)

his soul would  be strong and powerful…if only it could be free…  but our warrior is deluded! he is endlessly full of doubts and mistakes, he imagines he is riddled with cracks and weakened by unmovable blocks… he thinks he feels pain. he fears death!

he has forgotten his true nature so, captured by his own mistrust, he holds back in confusion. he holds and holds until something gives way …until, finally he lets go. now spiralling….

down,

down,

down.

and then there is stillness. and in this space our warrior believes himself to be so fragmented and lost that he must cry out to the universe and ask;

 “who am i? why am i here?”

and the timeless constant all that is, the deepest purest nothing, takes him. it holds him, it cradles him and speaks with ancient silence to the silence of his soul.

you are perfect! you are whole! you are complete!”

and our warrior bows down and weeps with joy as he answers for himself:

“all the time i am so humbly, gloriously, delighted to be… so blessed to be…here. to have been given theses marvellous opportunities of un-learning and learning to see.

my only desire is to become! …to be, love.

to love…. relentlessly.

to cast love outward to the stars

now i am learning for the first time… to ask. to ask because i wish to be open to giving.

 to ask in order that i may radiate back magnified over and over eternally endlessly over

… that more and more and ever more  may always be …touched by  ripples, not i but we!

i am a stumbling fool and will always be a fool… foolishly knowing nothing…

but i hope somehow to become at least an honest fool with an open heart.

..to learn to welcome, to thank the pain that takes one beyond, that reveals the beautiful mysterious, that shatters the mind and fills the centres of light…. to learn to embrace my truth and honour it. to allow others to do the same.

and to do this not to pleasure my ego, but because i have flown and let go, because i have returned.  returned to that place of emptiness that  can encompass all…

to live…  to be… to play… to see… to laugh… to love!

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If I Were a Bird

If I were a bird,
I would fly –
it would be that easy!

No need to do anything else
but soar and glide freely
The wind would be my guide
I would dance on invisible currents,
wings spread out wide
and what then?
How wise i would be,
knowing nothing!

Today, in the rain,
while we huddled indoors
and time passed by,
a bird flew up! Up!
Straight into the grey white cloud
and then it was gone
into the unknown beyond
where the sun was still shining.

If i were a bird,
I would fly –
it would be that easy!

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